Welcome to Dr-Fix-It !
Dr-Fix-It! Notebook Archive:
Confessions of a Nitwit.
What Happens With No Organization
 


Return Home

Return Home

Confessions of a Nitwit . . .

          Co-workers have complimented me by referring to me as a very organized manager. A mind like a steel trap. I have been told that it appears 'Doc never forgets'. They say they have noticed that no detail slips by me. They have said that no moss could ever possibly grow under my feet.
          I must confess...If the truth be told, I am so organized at work because I secretly know that I am a complete nitwit. I have taken extreme measures to cope with my nitwit-icity to conceal it from my co-workers. About twelve years ago, I attended one of those Franklin Seminars which teach how to organize life's tasks through the use of a simple scheduling planner. I highly recommend the Franklin system. It has made a world of difference in my capability and output at work.
          Without planning and scheduling, I revert to my natural nitwit-icity. I spend endless hours looking for my keys, my sunglasses and my wallet. I try not to look obvious but my wife always knows what is going on.
           "Why have you opened that door sixteen times in the last two minutes?", She asks. "What are you looking for NOW, Doc?"
          Five minutes later, she returns with the lost item and the familiar admonishment, "I found it... (EXHALE)... Right where you left it."
           For instance, on a typical Nitwit Saturday Morning, I might drive to the bank to make a weekly deposit. On the way to the car, I realize I don't have a ball-point pen so I return to the house. I wouldn't be able to see a ball-point pen without my reading glasses so the first order of business is to find those eyeglasses. After a careful search of every countertop and dresser drawer in the house, I break down and ask my wife to help me look for my glasses.
          She glances up and says "... (EXHALE)... they are right there in your shirt pocket, Doc. " Oh yes, of course. I remember now.
           The next item on the agenda is to locate a pen. That should be easy. I won't need my wife's help for this one! There are usually several pens laying near the computer, but not today. After another thorough search of the house, I finally locate a ball-point pen between the lettuce and the carrots in the refrigerator salad crisper bin. I don't recall exactly why I left a ball-point pen in the salad crisper bin. I am sure there was a plausible reason, it just escapes me now . . .
           So NOW, I'm off to the bank! On the way to the car, I realize I no longer have my deposit. So, I return to the house.
           Noting the elapsed time of 21 seconds between leaving and returning, my wife mumbles, "NOW what did you forget ?"
           "Oh, when I came back to get a ball-point pen, I must have put the deposit down somewhere."
           "When you came back to get a pen, you covered the whole house twice. That deposit could be anywhere. Can you remember when you last had it in your hand?"
           "Well, I remember coming through the door with it..."
           "Oh, that is a BIG help...(EXHALE)...OK, I'll help you look."
           After ten minutes of intense searching I hear my wife's outcry from the kitchen, "GAW DUH!...Why in Sam Hill would you put the deposit in the refrigerator? I found it on top of the salad crisper bin in the refrigerator. Doc, I am sure there was a plausible reason why you would leave the money in the refrigerator . . ."
           I remember now! Of course, it all makes perfect sense! While trying to retrieve the ball-point pen from the salad crisper bin, I had to set the deposit down because I needed one hand to hold the refrigerator door and the other hand to pull the crisper bin out. But, instead of trying to explain this perfectly sensible sequence of events, I opt for a little face-saving joke, "Just trying to make a little cold, hard cash, Dear."
           "Humph"
           So NOW, I'm off to the bank! Mental Inventory Checklist: Pen, Check. Glasses, Check. Deposit, Check. OK, I am out of here! On the way to the car, I realize I didn't grab the car keys. So, I return to the house. My wife is standing in the doorway with car keys in hand waiting for my return.
           "Do you have everything NOW?", she asks.
           I take the keys and nod, "I think so."
           My wife stands in the doorway to prevent me from entering the house, "If you are missing ANYTHING else, just tell me. And stay outside. Just stand in one place until I find whatever it is and come back out here."
           "No, Really. I really think I have everything this time."
           "OK, bye now"
           "Bye."
           So NOW, I'm off to the bank! Mental Inventory Checklist Number Two: Pen, Check. Glasses, Check. Deposit, Check. Car keys, Check. OK, I am really out of here! On the way to the car, I realize I don't have my wallet. So, I return to the house.
           I open the door as slowly and as quietly as humanly possible. From the back bedroom I hear my wife, " Doc, is that you? AGAIN?"
           "Yes, I didn't take my wallet".
           "Oh well, I guess you can forget about it for today. The bank will be closing in five minutes."
           "Sorry..."
           "Oh, That's OK, " She says, "By the way, your wallet is on the top shelf under the bathroom sink. Right where you left it."
           Co-workers have complimented me by referring to me as a very organized manager. A mind like a steel trap. I have been told that it appears 'Doc never forgets'. They say they have noticed that no detail slips by me. They have said that no moss could ever possibly grow under my feet.
           You see, in order to tighten a dripping compression fitting under the bathroom sink, I had to crawl into the vanity and lay on my back and at a sideways angle. In that position, my wallet was uncomfortable so I took it out and put it on the shelf...
           And that's right where I left it.

Doc

03.10.03









Contact Dr-Fix-It
Submit your Site!
Copyright 2005 RTWEB. All Rights Reserved.